I'm starting to ask myself- "Why do I even keep trying to make life plans?" (The answer to that is: a) it's just inherently in my nature; b) we're taught that "Men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness"- D&C 58:27; and finally, c) as my wise sister told me, to really get anywhere in life- you must "be proactive, not just reactive". And if it's the Lord's Will... it will work out. If not- good luck. ;) )
So where is all this "life plans" talk coming from? Well... recently I've decided that I'm no longer going to adhere to the life plan I've had for myself ever since I graduated high school.
I'm not going to Grad School to become a therapist.
So how/why exactly did I come to this decision you may ask? Since I've been working at LDS Family Services, there have been times where people on the phone or at the window will start to tell me more information about their problems than I ever needed to know. I told them to tell that to their therapist. But in telling them that I always thought, "But if I where their therapist... I would have no idea what to say to them and how to help them!" And maybe I'd learn some techniques in Grad School about how to respond to clients in sessions. But deep down- I just feel that that is a skill that you can't really teach. Develop- yes. Teach- no. And I don't inherently have that gift of knowing how best to respond in those type of situations. Which is pretty key in therapy- don't you agree?
Also I am a very sheltered girl. I readily admit to that fact. However- I don't really want to change that. But I can't possibly keep that while listening to people tell me about their problems (deriving from some very serious and horrible experiences in some cases... a lot of cases I'm willing to bet) all day, every day. In discussing with my brother (who is a therapist), he mentioned that if he were to rate his therapy sessions, he'd rate most of them R... for both language and content. Frankly- I just don't want to deal with that on a daily basis. There's a lot of pain out in the world... and hearing about that all the time would be extremely emotionally and mentally challenging. There's a good reason why counseling has a high burn-out rate.
Finally, my mom. She knows me better than anyone on the planet- and she has always had her reservations about me being a counselor (while always being supportive of whatever I wanted to do). And it just seems to me that if the person who knows you best isn't overwhelmingly convinced that the path you're heading on is the best one for you... maybe there's something in that. And maybe it's worth taking a minute to stop and re-evaluate. I'm not not becoming a therapist because of my mom. I promise. But she is one more piece of evidence that this is the right thing for me to do.
It's amazing how I can look back and know how divinely designed me ending up at LDS Family Services really was. And one purpose (among others) was to help me realize that being a therapist just isn't right for me. It's also amazing to see how the Lord won't let you go too far down the wrong path without letting you know first. I'm beyond grateful and relieved I came to this conclusion now and not after Grad School. After I'd already put in all that time, effort, stress, and money into it!
Hindsight is truly 20/20, and I can see so clearly how the Lord has guided me throughout my entire life. He has been right there beside me in everything I've done and experienced. I know with everything in my soul that He will continue to guide me through life. I can't wait to see where this path will take me... and I'm so grateful for the family, friends, and especially the Lord who are loving and supporting me along the way.