Butterfield Canyon

I really REALLY wanted to take a drive up the mountains to see the fall leaves. So Tuesday morning, my parents and I woke up early (so we would be done before my service mission at noon) and headed out to... you guessed it- Butterfield Canyon. It was exactly what I was looking for and a fantastic way to start out the day! I am in continual awe of how gorgeous this earth truly is. God sure knows what He's doing doesn't He?! 

We saw deer EVERYWHERE along the sides of the road. We also saw some wild turkey- however there's no photo evidence. You'll just have to take my word for it. (They really are ugly birds...) 

My personal favorite.

Love/Hate Relationship with Halloween

Love:

       -The tradition of Trick-or-Treating…as a kid

       -Decorating the house with my Mom
         -“Sounds of Halloween” tape (including: Ghostbusters,  Thriller, 
                 The Monster Mash, & Purple People Eater)

       -Carving Pumpkins

       -Carmel Apples

       -Holiday Traditions (My Aunt’s Costume Party)

       -Cute kid’s costumes

       -Ghostbuster’s –the movie

       -Beautiful fall weather

       -CANDY!!
         -Knowing Thannksgiving and CHRISTMAS are just around the corner

Hate:

       -Slutty costumes girls wear
        -Answering the door for Trick-or-Treaters… as an adult 
              (forget about a relaxing evening at home!)
      -The “Scary” aspect of Halloween (Haunted Houses, Movies, etc.)
              I HATE anything remotely scary!! I don’t get an adrenaline rush or 
              find  it fun… I have a heart attack instead.
      -SPIDERS everywhere!!! Hello- I’m an arachnophobic here!!

Sacrifice

Here's the deal- when I interviewed with LDSFS about a service mission, they asked if I could serve on the 2nd and 4th Saturday's of the month at the main front reception desk for the entire building. I said yes, however I REALLY didn't want to. I like having my weekends open. Lots of family activities happen on Saturday's since that's when most people don't work. Plus, I think it's kind of silly that Family Services has to cover the front reception desk at all since they're not opened on Saturday. Only Family Search is open. So in my opinion, I think they should have to cover the front reception desk every Saturday. But that's just me.

Anyways, when I served my first Saturday (2 weeks ago), a lady from Family Search also showed up to cover the front reception desk. She was surprised I was there, stating that she thought Family Services wasn't covering Saturday's anymore. So I told this to the people in Family Services and stated that if this was possible, that's what I would prefer. The lady in charge said yes, that'd be fine. I was so happy/relieved. Especially since spending 9 hours at the reception desk was well... to be frank- boring. Yes I brought my scriptures and a book, and I was on the computer for a while. But for 9 hours?! That's a long time. 

Well fast forward to this week (this Saturday being the 4th Saturday of the month) and I find out that no- the lady from Family Search was misinformed and Family Services (meaning me) still does need to cover the 2nd and 4th Saturday's. In addition, I am now also covering the front reception desk Wednesday nights from 5:30-9. 

When I found this out I was not happy. In my mind I was thinking to myself, "I came to be a service missionary to LDS Family Services, NOT to the Riverton Office Building front reception desk!" I couldn't seem to get over it. I was full out throwing a hissy fit in my mind over the whole thing. (Don't worry, only in my mind. My feelings were not expressed to the people I serve with. At least not verbally. ;)) 

Then... I had a breakthrough today. The thought came to me (and I firmly believe it was divine communication, not just my own thoughts) something along the lines of- Every mission requires sacrifice in some form or another. You were willing to sacrifice everything- leave everything you've ever known for 18 months to serve a full-time mission- and now that your mission is here at home you're not willing to sacrifice anything? That if it's not exactly how you imagined/want it to be- you're not going to be happy about it? You won't receive as many blessings as you could with that attitude.

Needless to say I was immediately humbled. When you calculate it out, that's only 24 Saturday's in a year. 24 Saturday's in a year- heck in a lifetime?! Yeah I think I can give that to the Lord. Now I'm told that there's a chance things might change and I won't have to do Saturday's anymore sometime in the future. And I won't lie- if that happens, I'll be thrilled. But in the mean time, I'm choosing to have a better attitude about serving on Saturday's from now on. I know I'll blessed for the service, and more so with a good attitude.

*Merely for documenting purposes for myself- when I serve on Saturday's, I serve Tuesday & Wednesday during the week. The weeks I don't serve on Saturday, then I serve Tuesday, Wednesday, & Thursday.

**Also on an unrelated note- I found out more information about being involved with adoption cases, and I am so excited!! They want me to sit in on interviews with adoptive parents, actually go to their homes to tag along on home-studies, and then help write up case study notes. The case study notes might not be so much fun, but sitting in on interviews and being involved in home-studies sounds so exciting to me. 

I have a very special place in my heart for adoption ever since my sister and brother-in-law, Laura & Mike, adopted their adorable little girl, Makai. I love her just as much as my other nieces/nephews, and can't imagine our family without her. It just wouldn't be complete. 

Anyways... at the end of the day- the gospel is true and therefore life is good. 

My Service Mission... Initial Thoughts

So the two people that read my blog may or may not be interested in how my service mission is going so far. But either way, I want to document this experience because this is an important experience in my life.

As stated earlier in previous posts, I've never worked at a job before. As such, this has been an incredibly overwhelming experience so far. I had absolutely no idea what to expect before I started. I'm a perfectionist, and impatient. I hate having to wait out the "learning curve" as I make mistakes trying to learn everything I need to know to be successful serving at LDS Family Services (LDSFS). But some things just take time, and my second week was a lot better than my first week. That first week I honestly thought to myself, "What in the world have I gotten myself into, and how can I get out of it?" I would just sit there as they would explain their computer programs thinking, "Yeah- that all makes sense. But could I do all you just said on my own? NO!" And everything is so much more detailed than I could've imagined. It's definitely an eye-opening experience to the intricacies of how an office works. My appreciation for all secretaries do in every office has increased a hundred fold these past two weeks.

I'll admit it's an adjustment going from school being surrounded by my peers all roughly my same age to working with women a lot older than me. But I'm so grateful to these women and the other therapists who I serve with. They'll never know how much their patience, kindness, and understanding has meant to me. In fact, when my missionary badge finally came the second week, two of the ladies sang "Happy Missionary Day to you!" to the tune of 'Happy Birthday'. Made my day.

It's also been an adjustment getting used to my service schedule. I serve Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 12- 9 p.m. One unexpected thing I love about serving at night, is that as I drive home along Bangerter Hwy, I get to see the Oquirrh Mt. Temple all lit up. And as I was driving home one night, I thought to myself: there is symbolism is seeing the beautiful bright white temple against the dark night sky. The world is a dark, scary, confusing, and often-times evil place. But the gospel/temple is a bright light that beckons others to come unto it. Through the gospel (and literally in temples) we can find an escape from the world, receive peace that can't be found anywhere else, gain clarity in our lives, and feel the love God has for His children. I hope that makes sense to you as it does in my mind. Whether or not it does- it's a great way to end a day of service driving past the temple each night.

As my stress levels have gone down slightly, I've been able to start appreciating my service mission. I love being surrounded by people who hold my same values/beliefs. I love looking around the office and seeing paintings of Christ on almost every wall. I love being part of an organization that is helping people overcome their struggles through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love knowing that there are so many resources available in the community to help people. (We often have to refer people who call in to outside resources. I had no idea that so many different resources even existed. There really is help available if people need and are willing to accept it.) I love just knowing that there are people out there who are actively working to overcome their problems, rather than take the easy road and succumb to the problem. Serving at LDSFS has made my desire to one day be a counselor grow, and I'm more determined than ever to make that happen.

As you can tell- it's been a lot of emotions. And it's only been two weeks! I'll definitely be keeping you updated on how this experience goes. I can't wait to see what's ahead.

Two Temples in 48 Hours...

... makes for an excellent weekend. 

When I went through the temple, I decided I wanted to do a "Temple Tour". My best friend, McKinzi, lives in St. George and since that's only an hour and a half away from Las Vegas, we decided that I'd come down for a weekend sometime and visit both temples.

Well this past weekend we made it happen. I don't think the timing could've worked out more perfectly. It was so much fun to see her one more time before she has her baby girl, and to get away from the stress I've been feeling since starting the service mission (more on that in the next post).

McKinzi was a bum and wouldn't get in the picture with me. But in her defense- no one else was around to take it for us. And since she's 9 months pregnant... I let it slide and just let her take a picture of me. I wanted something to remember it by. Hmmm, maybe I'll get a picture at each temple I visit. I like that idea... a lot.

St. George Temple

Las Vegas Temple
*Note I wore red to show my support for the Utes... GO UTES!

So far, the Las Vegas celestial room is my favorite I've been in. It was GORGEOUS! Not that all celestial rooms aren't beautiful, because they are. But the Las Vegas celestial room literally took my breath away. McKinzi and I stayed in there for an hour just talking and enjoying the spirit that is so easily felt there.

Funny story while in Las Vegas: After the session we were both starving for dinner. So we looked on the GPS and chose a place called Carmine's Italian Cafe. I figured- why not be a little adventurous and try something new? So we're driving, and as I'm being directed to turn into a residential neighborhood I start to just laugh, but figure- who knows maybe this is a short cut or something. McKinzi on the other hand, says "Oh my gosh, it's going to be some podunk place out of someone's garage!" Sure enough, we pull in front of a cul-de-sac with no sign of an Italian cafe anywhere. Oh my heck, we both died laughing in the car. Needless to say- we pulled off to the side of the road and promptly chose Applebee's instead... a place we both knew existed! Made for a great memory I'll cherish for years to come though! 

I love going to the temple for so many reasons. I loving feeling the calm and peace found there. The world is so loud, and I love the contrast the temple offers. I love that I am an equal in the temple. I love that I don't care that I'm physically disabled while in the temple. I do my best with the abilities I have with my body, and I know that that's enough. I love the eternal perspective I gain when I'm there. I love the motivation I feel to be a better person after going to the temple. I love feeling the Spirit and feeling more deeply that God loves me because I am His daughter. I'm so grateful to live in such close proximity to so many temples and I look forward to the opportunities of visiting those temples in the near future.

Growing

The attitude I'm trying to keep as I start my service mission. I really don't like changes/not knowing what to expect. But I do think this will ultimately be a great experience and I'll learn (and grow!) a lot.

Changing Myself

One major life lesson I've learned from my mom (and is being proved again and again from my own life experiences) is that the only person you can change is yourself. No matter how much you desire and how hard you try to change others- it will all be futile. It's part of God's plan for His children. We were given the gift of agency and therefore we are responsible for our own actions- not others. However, an interesting thing about human nature is that it is a million times easier to see the changes that need to be made in others than see what needs to be changed in ourselves.

In my life there's a person I would desperately love to change. This person is someone with whom I should have a close relationship with, but I don't. It's a very strained and difficult relationship. One in which I hold a lot of negative feelings (of anger, resentment, disappointment, frustration, etc.) against this person.

I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of spending so much energy on these negative feelings towards this person. I'm tired of carrying so much anger, resentment, and disappointment around with me. I want to let those feelings go. I'm not hoping for a close relationship with this person. I just hope that I can get to the point that no matter what this person says/does, that I'll be able to be calm and at peace inside. That I can stop giving this person the power to affect my emotions so negatively. I hope to get to the point that treating this person with respect and kindness isn't so difficult. I want to stop feeling on edge every time I'm around this person.

I'm ready for change.

I'm ready to stop waiting/expecting for this person to change, and finally just start working on myself. However I know that I can't get to the point I want to be at on my own. I can't bring about this change in my heart without the help of the Savior. I've held on to these feelings for too long and too deeply. I know this is going to be a long and very difficult process. I know that there'll still be times when this person makes me frustrated and hurt. But I also know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I can overcome this.

I will one day be held accountable for my actions/choices I made regarding this relationship. Right now I couldn't go before my Father in Heaven with a clean conscience of my actions/feelings towards this person. Therefore I am choosing that today I will start the process of softening and changing my heart, with the Savior's help. So that one day I can stand before my Father in Heaven with a clear conscience.

As I was looking for a quote/picture to go along with this post, I came across the talk, The Merciful Obtain Mercy by Pres. Uchtdorf. It seemed that every point Pres. Uchtdorf makes was directed right at me. Coincidence? I don't think so. The entire talk is amazing, and I strongly encourage reading the entire thing. But these parts particularly hit home for me:

"The pure love of Christ can remove the scales of resentment and wrath from our eyes, allowing us to see others the way our Heavenly Father sees us: as flawed and imperfect mortals who have potential and worth far beyond our capacity to imagine. Because God loves us so much, we too must love and forgive each other. ... 

... In a world of accusations and unfriendliness, it is easy to gather and cast stones. But before we do so, let us remember the words of the One who is our Master and model: 'He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.' ...

... Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment. We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.  

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord's way. 

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive. 

Lay your burden at the Savior's feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ's Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another. The merciful will obtain mercy."

Forgiven- Greg Olsen

Amen!

My entire life all I really wanted when I grew up was to be a wife and mother. I didn't want fame and fortune, just a loving husband and kiddos who called me "Mom". Well apparently I'm not the only one who feels the same way. On one of the blogs I read (on my sidebar under "Dripping With Passion"), she did a wonderful post about her desires for motherhood. As I was reading I just kept thinking in my head, "YES! This is exactly how I feel!!" So instead of writing my own post on the same subject, I'm just posting a link to hers because she wrote it all out so much more eloquently than I ever could. So without further ado... here's the link: I Want A Baby.

*And just a note- I want a husband BEFORE any babies come!! ;)

Lake Powell... Camping Style

So last week I went to Lake Powell... again. I tell ya- I can't get enough of that place! This time it was the camping trip, which is a VERY different trip than the houseboat. I personally prefer the houseboat, it's so much easier for me. However, the camping is still really fun.

All who went:
Allen (uncle), Jodi (Allen's daughter), Sienna, Savannah, Whitney, & Kallie (Jodi's 4 daughters)
Marci & Dave (aunt & uncle), Wendi & Eric (Marci's daughter & her husband), Lexi, Micki, & Hunter (Wendi & Eric's 3 kids)
Mom, Dad, & Me

The next 3 photos were not taken by me but by my cousin Micki. I stole them off facebook. ;)

This was our camp spot. It was fantastic in my opinion for 3 main reasons. 1) It was large. 2) The sand was packed & wet (not the white loose sand) which is great cause it doesn't blow in your face/food when it's windy AND I can use my walker to get around! 3) It was shady for quite a while in the morning and pretty early in the evenings. It WASN'T fantastic in 1 really major way- it was really muddy/mucky walking out to the boat. I'm talking the kind where you step and sink a foot up to your knees in mud. Made for interesting transportation when I was carried to and from the boat and camp!

Whitney, Sienna, Wendi, Lexi, Savannah, Marci, Dave, Me
(Not pictured: Allen, Jodi, Kallie, Eric, Micki, Hunter, Mom, Dad)

Marina run for gas, ice, and of course... ice-cream!!!

Absolutely gorgeous in my opinion. This was on the last night- sunset boat ride back to camp from the marina.  I love the color the rocks turn when the sun sets. SO PRETTY!! How I wish I could just jump into the picture... *sigh*

Activities:
-Sight seeing up canyons
-Lunch up 7 Mile Canyon under a shady overhang
-Mom skiing for 45 minutes... straight
-Swimming (You can't beat 80+ degree water!)
-Campfires- eating s'mores & reminiscing memories
-Playing games in a tent while it's pouring rain outside
-Sleeping out in the boat & tent
-Reading on boat rides

And finally 2 quotes from Jodi's 4 year old daughter, Whitney that I thought was so cute/hilarious...
*So there was a HUGE daddy-longlegs spider at the top of the bathroom cover/tent. Of course it was there when I was using the bathroom. Just my luck. Anyways- so Whitney was right there for the whole thing and my mom tells her- go find someone brave to come kill it. So she went up to her grandpa, Allen, and asks him, "Grandpa, are you brave enough to come kill this spider?" (My mom was the one who actually ended up killing it.)

*Allen, Jodi and her kids came and rode in our boat one time to/from the marina. On the way back to camp, she's sitting by me and asks the question, "Why is your boat super awesome?"

It definitely was a fantastic way to close out the summer! Now here's to fall adventures, which for me includes starting my service mission. Wish me luck!!!

My Family Is Awesome

... here's the proof to back that statement up:

Notice how about half the people somehow missed the memo to make a goofy face? Almost makes it more funny in my opinion.

My personal favorite is Kate, but all are fantastic.
I love my family.

-all photo credits to Mike Rogers